BATON ROUGE, LA—Warning that the latest gun laws proposed by the Democrat-controlled House of Representatives constitute a grave attack on his civil liberties, local libertarian man Samuel K. Davies conveyed his fear that the new rules would infringe upon his constitutional right to fly around in an A-10 Warthog.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Unsatisfied with the amount of time the Mueller investigation has been taking and the quality of that investigation, President Trump has performed his own independent investigation of himself. He’s now released the results of that inquiry, which he says found that he is the most innocent president ever—perhaps
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Days after President Trump’s star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame was defaced, representatives for the Hollywood Historic Trust confirmed that revolutionary and mass murderer Che Guevara would be honored with a star in its place. The star monument was unveiled at a ceremony attended by hundreds of people, many of